I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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