I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
