but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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