physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
