I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize