well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize