The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize