AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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