I CAN MOONWALK!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
