I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
