first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He has the fingertips of a God
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