let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
