I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
