idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
