You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
