You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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