I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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