So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
