I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize