perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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