Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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