Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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