Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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