Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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