Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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