I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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