That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
