Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize