do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
