Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
