I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize