You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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