he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
