i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
