he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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