The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
