He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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