i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
