If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
