Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
