If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
