she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
