considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
