'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
