remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
