He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
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If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
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Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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