been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
