It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
