im holly from the hills drunk
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize