Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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