I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
