Having a random hookup so left but love u
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
