hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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