Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
