What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
