You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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