It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
