Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
