Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
being pregnant is like rehab
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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